Chocolate Addict
by AppleJuiceMaster
Summary: This ficcy is dedicated to Nicky (Mwwp-lover) for.. uhm.. well.. just because she's cool as that, alright! Not going to say what's it about, you'll just have to read it! >:)


This incredibly insane story is dedicated to... *drumrolls* Nicky (Mwpp- lover) who's totally crazy about David Thewlis, who is, as we all know, going to play Remus Lupin in the next Harry Potter film!!!! Now, I'll just shut up so you can all read the damn story, alright? Okey dokey, here we go!! And, yes, I *am* very much aware of the fifth book and all it's... stuff, but it doesn't change this story, so don't complain.  
  
'Remus? We need to talk.' Remus Lupin stopped talking and faced Albus Dumbledore. 'Of course, Headmaster. You all stay here and be quiet, alright?' He told the class. The students all nodded, pretending to promise not to make any noise. 'Good.'  
  
Remus followed Dumbledore to his office. 'You can sit down, you know?' Dumbledore said politely. 'Oh, right, sorry...' Remus was still amazed by all the wonderful things the headmaster had in his office.  
  
'Uhm, what did you want to talk to me about?' Dumbledore looked at Remus with complete seriousness. 'That obsession of yours...' Remus blinked a few times. 'Er... what obsession?' 'This... chocolate obsession.' He blinked some more. 'Uhm, it's not exactly an *obsession*, I just like it... that's all.'  
  
Dumbledore raised an eyebrow. 'I'm sorry to say it, but what about all those closets full of chocolate?' Remus seemed lost for words. 'I...well... it...er...' 'I think what you need is,' A twinkle shined in the old man's eyes. 'a little trip to St. Mungo's.'  
  
Before Remus could open his mouth to say something, he was thrown on the ground by four wizards and forced him in a straightjacket. Remus screamed out of frustration.  
  
Dumbledore got out of his chair and crouched next to him. 'I'm very sorry, Remus. It's for your own good.' 'How... how could you!!' Remus yelled. 'I trusted you! What... what about me classes, eh? Who's gonna teach those kids how to defend themselves?' He said, hopeful, trying to persuade him. 'Oh, I think I can find a substitute' Dumbledore smiled.  
  
The four wizards started to drag Remus out of Dumbledore's office. 'No! Wait!!! I... it's not true !!' He protested. 'YOU'LL REGRET THIS, DUMBLEDORE!!' The Headmaster slammed the door shut after they had disappeared trough it. Fawkes looked at him, angry. 'What!? He even *dealt* chocolate bars with the students!!'  
  
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Remus slowly opened his eyes, muttering and yawning. He tried to rub his eyes but noticed his hands were stuck. Quickly looking down he noticed his arms were tied up in a straightjacket and he remembered. Albus Dumbledore.  
  
'DUMBLEDORE!!!' He bellowed. 'IT'S NOT TRUE!!!!' He yelled for about a minute before calming down again, starting to observe the room. 'All... white. How terribly boring...' Then another thought occurred to him. What if he changed into a werewolf here?! No! 'This can't be happening, this can't be happening..' He muttered. 'Why me!? The man self has this... Sherbet Lemon obsession and I'M the one here... it's not fair...'  
  
The door suddenly opened and a man in a white coat with a clipboard walked into the room. Remus smiled. 'Hello. I guess you're going to let me out now that you've noticed it was all a big mistake, eh?' The doctor frowned. 'Erm... not really. Would you please come with me?'  
  
Remus laughed. 'Ooh, I get it now!! It's all a game isn't it? Haha! An April fools joke! Very original, I must say. Are all the teachers here? I'd love to see dear ol' Severus in a straightjacket! What's he addicted to?' He lowered his voice, imitating Snape. 'I like Grease Lightning, it is my favourite film.' Remus laughed maniacally.  
  
The doctor looked at him with a 'What the hell?!' expression on his face, while writing something down on the paper that was stuck on the clipboard.  
  
When Remus was done laughing, he looked at the doctor. What cha writing there?' 'Oh nothing... just... doodling...' 'Ooh!' Remus said excited. 'Let me see!' 'Uhmm no...' 'What! Why not?!' 'Becaauuusee... it's not very good, so that's why.' The doctor quickly said.  
  
'Anyway, didn't I tell you to come with me?' Remus stared at him, frowning. 'Yes, you did. But you didn't go anywhere, did you? How can I follow you when you're not moving?! It isn't logical...' The man sighed, getting annoyed by the man's talking. 'Just follow me.' 'Only if you're going somewhere!' The man rubbed his temples. 'I am. There's a visitor for you.' 'Must be Dumbledore!' Remus exclaimed.  
  
Meanwhile, a man with black, stringy hair was leaning against the wall in the waiting room, looking around. The door opened and Remus' doctor's head stuck out of it. 'Mr... Snuffles?' Sirius nodded and walked trough the door.  
  
Remus came running towards him. Sirius just stared. 'Why... what... did you do, man?' 'Padfoot! You will NEVER believe what just happened to me!! Dumbledore played a GREAT prank, really funny!' Sirius looked at the doctor, raising an eyebrow. The doctor merely shrugged. 'Can I... talk to him in private?' He asked. 'Yeah, sure,' The doctor replied. 'There's a room, you can go there.'  
  
Sirius smiled friendly at the doctor, grabbed Remus and dragged him into the room the doctor meant. Sirius sat down on a chair facing Remus. 'What. Did. You. Do?' He slowly said. 'I just told you! Dumbledore played an awesome April Fools prank, and you know what, I think Snape's here too!!' Sirius coughed. 'Moony... it's November. No April.' 'But...'  
  
The former prisoner looked at him, seriously. 'You're here for real. It's not a prank, it's not a joke.' Remus looked confused. 'But... no joke?' Sirius shook his head. 'No... Now I'm going to ask you again... what did you do?' 'I... Dumbledore said something about... my chocolate obsession or whatever...' 'Chocolate obsession?' Remus nodded. 'That's what he said. I just like the chocolate, that's all.'  
  
Sirius leaned forward. 'So, now you're a chocolate addict?' Remus slowly nodded again. 'Wow that's some serious shit...' He snorted. 'Dude, you just talked about your own shit, HAAHA!!' Sirius slowly backed away. 'I'm... going to try to let you out of here, okay? I only have to figure out how...' 'What about that window?' Remus suggested. 'Oh... right. Good idea.'  
  
Some time later...  
  
'Oh, Oh!! Sirius!!! Nooo!!' Remus cried out. 'Almost... there...' Sirius gasped. They both screamed, Remus in a frustrated way and Sirius full of triumph. Sirius laughed. 'I'VE GOT A REMUS BADGE!' He showed the Remus Badge. Remus almost cried. 'You... you killed my Pikachu!!' Sirius rolled his eyes. 'God, it's just a cardgame.' Remus scowled. 'Ready to get your ass kicked? This time for real?!' 'Bring it on, wolfman!' Sirius growled and it started all over again.  
  
Ze End!  
  
~~ Yep, that was... odd. It wasn't very funny, but hey, it was alright, I guess. Please review or else Sirius will kick your ass big time in the badass Pokémon card play!~~ 


End file.
